Tuesday, January 12, 2010

A Paper Wedding Draws Near

In two weeks I will be married. I am getting excited about this. Really and truly excited. I was a little apprehensive until recently but I am starting to feel the butterflies of anticipation and giddy school girl nonsense that you are "supposed" to feel. In fact, I am sure it will be exactly like the picture above. Ha! Not. If all goes as projected I will spend the day in the OR learning how to intubate people and then around 3 when I am done I will head home and take a little power nap? Wishful thinking maybe. Then around 6 we will get dressed in our finest carharts and favorite skirt and head down to the brewery where we had our first date.

If you have never been to the PacNW you may not understand the brewery phenomenon and if you haven't been to North PDX you might not understand how cool Amnesia Brewing is. It is this funky little microbrewery where some guys who love brewing beer serve beer and sausages. They are under obligation to sell said sausages by the OLC who says "pub" means food and brew. Thus, these guys could really give a shit about the food they are all about the beer. So are we! It is great beer. Small batch, yum yum yum! They are just as happy if you walk next door and get pizza or down the block for Mexican and bring it back if it means they don't have to mess with the food.

Anyway, back to the wedding. We decided to make this a no family event as my peeps are so far away and we decided that if there was family it would change the very casual yet very special feel of the day and while we are so excited to have our families participate in the Quaker ceremony in September, we want this one to feel like it is just us starting out on our own as two individuals and not two siblings, children, cousins....etc. This is a little tricky as the Hubbs' sister lives with us. I am not sure yet how we are going to manage this one. I am sure she would say she understood and was fine with it, I just know that it would bum me out if my big brother had told me and then gone and done it without me. Thus, I think the tactic is one of telling after the fact. That way there is no regret of leaving someone out who feels left out. It really isn't about AKB at all, it is all about the shared desire to have part of the wedding that has nothing to do with our wonderful families and fully embracing our adulthood and the commitment we are about to make to one another. September is ALL about community and family and bridging two families with a new relationship. It is going to be great. This however is just ours.

We have some friends who have offered to be our witnesses and one friend in particular is traveling 200miles on a school night to be here for us. I am so grateful. Our friend Bear is marrying us and for that G and I both feel overwhelmed with gratitude. Bear is a good friend and the perfect person to officiate something off beat but serious like a wedding. The rest of the witnesses are friends from our EMS world. There are only 4 of them total but they are a crew who has seen the Hubbs and I through some difficult times internal and external and have now asked if they could come bear witness. I am joyful for this as the wedding wedding in Sept will be very small indeed. There will only be about 50 folks including us on Friday for the ceremony. The idea of standing up and declaring my love and intention to be his partner and love for the rest of our days in front of more than my most near and dear makes me want to vomit and die. As much as I loved the spotlight in theater as a kid my personal life is my own and being the center of attention on this special and emotional day is not something I wish to do in front of everyone I know. Somehow it seems like a private thing. Those big weddings on TV are cool but I would feel like I was standing in a swimsuit in time square.

Anywho, Hubbs and I are going to get the licence next Monday and the Monday after that we are tying the knot. I have ordered the ring from this wonderful artist who made mine. I wrote about her earlier. Singlebbeautiful on Etsy. She is making him a white gold band. It will match mine. I am just waiting for her to call and tell me it is ready. Something about seeing him wear a wedding ring has me totally excited. Little child on her birthday excited. Is it the symbol of the commitment? Is is the symbol that "Hey Ladies, this one is taken?". I am unclear but I do know that I can't wait to see the ring on his finger and kiss him for the first time as his wife. Even in spite of all my non-traditional behavior I am still a giddy mess when it comes down to it. I can hardly wait.

Fitness Today
Pilates 35min
Running That's right RUNNING! At lunch today. It felt pretty awful but I am ready to work through the fascia pain and get my running back on track. I ran about 30min today.

Tomorrow Water Aerobics!

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