Things I Am Not

I am not a straight A student this time around.
I am not yet completely ready to be someones mother.
I am not ready to be a full grown paramedic.
I am not ready to think about how big my school loans are now.
I am not ready to stop working yet.
I am not ready to give up cheese.
I am not quite ready to rock my wedding dress. (see above).
I am not over getting B's this term. (But I have stopped crying and have almost stopped beating myself up for it)
I am not ready to forgive my shit head brother.
I am not ready to write off my shit head brother.
I am not ready for my sweet old dog to pass.
I am missing the ocean and the old days of being on it 7 months a year.

All of that said....I AM several things right now too.

I am on spring break.
I am so very in love with my husband.
I am becoming stronger everyday.
I am loving running more every spin out.
I am ready to leave town for a few days.
I am ready to see my Dad and Kathleen in their new place.
I am ready to have my mom live a LOT closer.
I am ready to see my family.
I am ready to know where I will be spending the summer interning.
I am ready for a new ipod.
I am ready to start a garden.
I am ready to sleep under the stars for the first time this year.
I am ready to learn to climb a mountain.
I am still excited about becoming a medic
I am looking forward to each day with this strange mix of wonder and anticipation that comes from loving my life in a pretty profound way right now ups and downs included.

So, there you have it. The shit, the grit and the great stuff. All in a list.

Running had been going really well. I will hit a 20 mile week this week if my shinsplints don't bring me down.
The back fat is slowly receding.

I Am A Runner...Now and Forever

I ran my first Marathon ten years ago. I was seventeen and stubborn as a mule. My brother was 21 and that previous fall I stood by the side of a Detroit road and watched him run the Detroit Marathon. I had sort of chuckled as I watched the thousands of runners and their various paces and body types run by. "I could do a marathon. Doesn't look that hard". My parents sort of craned their heads and looked at me as if I had just seen Flo-jo run by and had challenged her to a race. "Ok, suuure" they said. I was not a runner. I had only ever run because I HAD to for gym class. Oh, yes, and my failed attempt to make friends in my new town in sixth grade by joining the cross country team. It was just the place for the chubby new girl who generally hated running. Anyway, upon returning home from the Detroit race I got on the computer and looked up training plans. I picked a race seven months away and set my sights. I ran and ran and ran. I started out slowly with short distances I would clock by driving them first in my mini-van. As I kept running and the distances got longer I began to find trails and places, some as far as 30min from home, where there were generous shoulders to the road and low traffic volume to run longer distances. My body ached and I still ran slowly. My parents got on board and began riding the bike along side me for my long weekend runs. Ten miles, fifteen miles, eighteen, twenty, twenty-three. My dad would tell me stories about the crazy things he and his gang of brothers did as kids. My mom would tell me about her misbegotten youth as well. It was fun. Rain, snow, discouraging aches and pains. I ran through it all. Spring came and one of my teachers from school who also happened to be a dear family friend also decided to run. It was perfect as my parents had long standing plans to be in France during my race. This was not problematic for me because "you already know what I look like running. And I promise I am going to finish so don't worry. You're not missing anything" was my attitude. Branson was running and so I could go to Traverse City with them and they would bring me home. The day came and the morning was beautiful. The course takes you along Grand Traverse Bay, down this beautiful peninsula. Every inch of the course was beautiful. The race started early and it was cool in the morning but it warmed up through the day and was down right hot by late morning. I was off and running. The dog had eaten just one of my running shoes so I had to order a new pair only 3 weeks before the race and was suffering the consequences of poorly broken in foot wear in the form of bleeding blisters in my arches from about mile eleven on. I kept running though. My brother had been in Costa Rica with a friend and was due back that day but I was very surprised to come over a rise in the course and see him standing out of the sun roof of his champagne colored Honda with sunglasses on and a Gatorade waiting for me. He was in flip flops and chinos but he ran along with me for about a mile. I was about eight miles out and it was clear that I was going to be the very last runner to finish. At this point a van pulls up along side me and a woman informs me that if I would like to get in the van she will take me to the finish line. WHAT?! QUIT?! Are you out of your fucking mind?! I have already run thousands of miles in training and nineteen of them today. I am not getting in that van. "No thanks." I said, "I'm good. I'm gonna keep running." And I did. I kept going. I think I was averaging about 15min/miles at this point. My feet were bleeding and I was sure I was dying inside. My teacher who had finished over an hour ago sent his wife out to find me on the course and Sara ran with me for a while. She was NOT a runner (yet) though now she runs marathons on a very regular basis. She was running next to me and the van lady circled around again. I politely ignored her this time. She informed me that I was going to go over the course time limit of four hours and aid stations were going to be closing up. I kept running. I got to the next aid station and found that all the people there were calling my number and ringing cow bells and cheering for me. At the next aid station someone yelled "Go Anna Hope" and it seems the crowd from the last station had joined this one and they had just two cups poured for me. There were two more stations and at each one the crowd was bigger and more excited. The van lady came by at one point and my brother told her "she's not getting in the van. Stop asking". I finished the race in 5hrs 31min. I averaged ten min/miles for the first eighteen miles and around fifteen min/miles for the rest of it. I finished though. Fifteen minutes after the last runner ahead of me. The most memorable part of the day was not crossing the finish line. It wasn't calling my folks and telling them I made it. The most memorable moment of the whole day and the whole marathon training experience came when Sarah and I were running along the lake, the hot sun on my drained body, Sarah turned to me and said "congratulations, you're a runner. You may never take another step for the rest of your life and you are still a runner." I will never forget that. I remember it all the time when things get tough. I remember that I DID that. Nobody can ever take that away. I am a runner. Broken feet, depression, changes in my body, or my schedule...none of it can take away that simple fact that I am a runner.
Yesterday the hubbs and I went to the woods of Forest Park for a run. I wasn't sure how far or how hard I was going to be able to go between the recent bronchitis and the formerly broken foot. I just wasn't sure. It didn't matter though. Once I got to the forest and let the dog off her leash it was all good. I struggled to get warmed up hacking and wheezing a little for the first fifteen minutes. On the way back I felt so good that I decided to push it a little and lengthened out my stride and picked it up a bit. It felt amazing. The hubbs commented that I had turned up the gas and he was happy to match my new pace. We ran faster than I have run in a very long time for the last mile all the way down the sloping back and forth of the forest. It felt like flying. My stress of the week and the coming weekend melted away. I was running. I hadn't run outside other than once since my injury in November. I was pleased to find everything working just the way it should. A 55min run was no sweat. I am a runner. Today, tomorrow, when I am a hundred years old. I am a runner.

Updates and Realizations...AKA: Random Blog Day

I had a huge test today. It sucked. It was hard and it was overwhelming and I wanted to cry and go to bed afterwards. It certainly didn't help that after trauma conference we sat around as a class and "shared" our clinical experience thus far. I have felt frustrated about my personal clinical experience but hearing my classmates talk about the exciting experiences they are having made me so sad and frustrated. I wanted so badly to be at my hospital because I felt a connection there. I wanted to believe that because I think so highly of the hospital and because I feel like a vested member of the team there they would value me and want to teach me. I never would have guessed that I would be ignored, shut out, and generally dismissed the way I have been in the last two weeks. It has been so awkward and generally humbling (not in the productive way but in the demoralizing way) that I don't ever want to go back. That's NOT because I don't like intubating because I do. I really do. I think it is interesting and exciting and would have loved to do more. I am bitter about it yes. It is only exacerbated by the fact that my program director actually wants me to buy them a 'Thank you gift' for accommodating me. I would like to buy them a "screw you" gift instead but I do understand the need to make nice for future classes should they find themselves looking at my hospital as an option for clinicals...NOT something I would recommend BTW! OK, enough about that...long story short....I am miserable right now...with school that is. It feels like last term was challenging but this term feels nearly impossible! It feels disorganized from the scheduling of assignments to the grading on up...nightmare!

Random musing number two is on the fitness front. I have been resisting the urge to put my wedding dress on every other day to see if my hard work has been paying off. In fact, I had resisted the urge since the day after Christmas...resisted that is until Monday. I broke the box out of it's deep dark plastic wrapped hiding place and slid the delicious fabric over my head. My heart was pounding as I put my arms down and reached for the sipper. Last time I tried the dress on it had been tight through the chest and back, and it had clung to some of the wrong places over my hips and belly. Monday night I zipped it up and turned to face the mirror and was shocked to see the change. I am only 9.5lbs down since starting all of this in the middle of December but there is no disputing the change in my body. My arms are beginning to take a more proper shape and the "bubble wrap" under my boobs and on my back has begun to fade. My belly is even taking on a more toned shape...no more food baby, baby! Even the Hubbs has pointed it out. I know it is hard to notice things like subtle weight loss and body shape changes when you see someone everyday but we were at the gym the other night and he got on the treadmill next to me and said "honey your butt looks smaller. You ARE losing weight!" He is not the smoothest operator out there but I could tell he meant it because it was all awkward and surprised. As nice as it is to hear that stuff from him, I am not doing it to "get" him or to make him think I am sexy...God help him, he already thinks that! I am doing all of this so that I feel sexy to me and feel healthy, so I can feel good about growing a baby in this body or raising a baby in a healthy lifestyle. I am doing this for the wedding dress too. So far I am down a pant size and making huge strides in the dress department. I'll keep you posted.



Random musing number three...Things that have changed since getting married. #1: We "fist bump" ring hand to ring hand. Vomit! I know, but the Hubbs thinks it's like "the Obamas honey...it's cool". I humor him. It makes me happy to see him all silly over our rings. It makes me happy to see him happy...more vomit, I know. Thing #2: We graduated from therapy the other day. It was never hard to go or to work on things in between meetings. I really think Tim (our guy) just helped us trust in the strength of our relationship even in the face of our struggle this fall. I think I more than Hubbs needed an outside, unbiased, uninvested voice of professional reason to help me clear away the mental clutter so I could see how good I have it. How good we both have it. He was so sweet as he told us he thought we were on the right track. "You can always call me or email me to make an appointment but I don't think we need to set anything up at this point. You two seem very happy and grounded right now. I see good things to come". It was so nice. I feel that way too but I think I am biased and I am always afraid I am deluding myself...What makes me even more nervous is that I don't even care if I am deluding myself. I am so happy with Hubbs and so happy to be married that it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. Thing #3: Is in the same vein as thing 2. I realize that sometimes I am high speed and he is not and vice versa. Today was a perfect example. After my test I was despondent. I was hungry and exhausted and pissed off. I mostly wanted to eat melted cheese and go to sleep. Hubbs was on full boogie talking about the EMS research he thinks he would like to conduct but knows politics will never allow. He was going a thousand miles an hour explaining all of this and I was for all intents and purposes Homer Simpson...all drooly and "Ghaargh". I have almost no idea what he said. It is not that I lack interest or that I routinely do not pay attention. What I am reflecting on is that this never seems to be a problem for us. We take turns being worthless and vegged out. The important thing is that even when exhausted or despondent or maxed out we go to one another. Just spending time be it sleeping, running errands or walking the dogs, is quality time together. It is what recharges us. Being together is always better than being apart. I spend plenty of time on my own, 4 nights a week in fact. I like my alone nights but I love snuggling in between a dog and my husband. Even if he or I am yammering away while the other one actively passes out. It's just better together. I know this is all a leeetle on the random side but it has been a long day. I am mostly ready to head to bed and am now just waiting for the Hubbs to get home so I don't pass out before he gets home.

Fitness day 46
Down total of 9.5lbs! Woot!
Get-ups x 7min
Water aerobics

And Now We Share Two Last Names

I got married on Monday night. It was the best day of my life. However, before I jump into the description of the nuptials I have to preface it with a bit of context on the day as a whole.

We have established that I am in Paramedic school. I began my clinical rotations on Monday. Not just clinicals in general, but my OR rotation. This is the rotation where you humbly grovel at the feet of the ass kings known as anesthesiologists. I don't mean to bag on anesthesiologists as a people (he he "bag"...a little airway humor)...well ok, sure I am bagging on them as a population because they SUCK (for the most part). They are inept cellar dwellers who put people TO SLEEP as a profession. Most of them have the social graces of a glass of water. Actually, water is usually more refreshing. Anyway, there had been some scheduling snafu and my program director was left short several OR spots. I had said maybe I could get in at the hospital where I work...My director took off with this concept and began the long frustrating road to getting me a slot on what turned out to be a bloated student schedule in the OR. The day before I was to begin my rotation I received a forwarded email from the head of anesthesiology to my director. I paraphrase when I say it said they were frustrated and irritated to have to accommodate me, they will "never do this again", and it puts a major imposition on the other students down there. I got that email and panicked! Holy Shit! They don't want me and my director has begged and cajoled and there I am! F!

Needless to say I was very anxious on Monday morning. I walked into find the woman assigned to me was not there yet and when she finally arrived she didn't look me in the eye, didn't say anything to me, handed me an OR schedule with several check marks next to surgeries I assumed she thought I had a shot at and walked away. OK, I thought, I can handle this. I have been in tough spots before. I will smile and be kind and deferential and I WILL survive this day! I may not get any tubes out of it but I will not die of anxiety. Long story short, I got several tubes! The first doc recognized me and pulled me in right away. The second one recognized me as well and after quizzing me on bagging and preoxygenation he too let me place and ET tube in a pt. It was WAAAAAAAY COOOOOL! It is still frightening as I feel like at any moment they may say "Nope, you're clearly and idiot! Get out of here! Bugger off!" But the take home point is that that did NOT happen on Monday. Thus, I left the hospital (after working out) and headed out into the misty late afternoon of Oregon feeling preemptive shock for what had happened and what was to come in just a few hours.




I had told the hubbs that I was going to hit the store for flowers before coming home and as I walked in I must admit, I was NOT feeling very bridal. I was wearing scrubs and frankly felt exhausted after all the adrenalin of the day. I was wandering about the flowers and the young woman finally asked me if she could help. I wasn't sure. She asked what the occasion was and I said I was getting married tonight. "Oh my gosh! I have never done flowers for a wedding before!" She said clasping hands to heart. "It's cool" I said, "I have never been married before. We can figure this out together." And we did. She made me the sweetest bouquet of hyacinth (sitting on my night stand now still smelling like heaven) and 10 mini Gerber daisies that all looked different and hand painted. As she put things in order I ran in to fetch green tea and salad for the mister. I decided I wanted to give gifts to our small collection of buddies witnessing things. I wandered about for a while trying to decided. I settled on a gift bag containing Annie's mac and cheese and a gourmet chocolate bar. I went to check out and the guy ringing me up looked at me and asked "Do you really like Mac and Cheese?" I could have honestly replied yes! I do love it you know. However, I explained to him that I loved melted cheese and my theory about how it comforts and fills in the cracks in the soul like nothing else and I thought it to be the perfect gift of friendship. And chocolate...only freaks don't like chocolate and if they don't give it to someone else and make their day. Simple, but perfect. I told him "nobody is going to open the bag, see Annie's and chocolate and say Oh damn! I hate this shit." He had to agree. By this time I had received several hugs from perfect strangers and I was feeling more bridal by the moment as I walked to my car in the misting rain.

I went home and got dressed and we headed to the pub to meet our friends. We were almost the last to arrive and as soon as we walked in we both got nervous. I couldn't sit still. There were lots of hugs and kisses and thank yous exchanged. I was pretty sure I was going to explode. Hubbs was wicked nervous too. He couldn't stop pacing. Our friend Bear who was marrying us asked us if there was anything he didn't know that he needed to know. We both said no and looked at the other one for confirmation. As if we hadn't driven there together or something. Everyone was smiling and chatting politely. Somehow it was recommended that introductions be made. I still don't know how it happened but we all ended up going around the table saying our name, favorite flavor of ice cream, and what "brought us here tonight". It was priceless. My good friend Jen (not the get to know ya game sort of girl) looked like she had just been transplanted to a bar mitzvah on mars. But, being the big sister I never had she played along beautifully. It made the old outward bound instructor in me sooooo happy. Classic Me.



After the get to know ya circle Bear said some beautiful things about marriage, weddings, seeds and love. He seemed to have found just the right words to encircle what we are trying to do with the two step wedding thing. I can't quite put the words down here but maybe eventually I will stop cherishing them so dearly and will type them up. After Bear the Hubbs said some very sweet things to me about what he always thought his life would be like and how I was a perfect piece to the puzzle. I in turn, said some things back about how he makes perfect broccoli, leaves very sweet notes and how much I love him. I left out the part about him being the only person in the world who doesn't bug me as much as everyone else in the world (with only one or two exceptions) as there were other folks there and I didn't want anyone to take offense :) After "vows" we cheered, exchanged rings (his had fallen out of my pocket and was sitting in the grass by the side of the street! OMG close call!) ate some dinner and then cut the cupcake. Yes, cupcake. They were delicious!

After cupcakes there were stories of medicine, weddings, school, love, shenanigans and friendship. It was litter ally, the best night of my life. Friends took pictures and played silly songs on the juke box. Our friend Annett had collected beautiful glass jars for the wedding in September. I can't say that ALL of my people were there but somehow, the group that ended up at that table on Monday night was the perfect blend of people from the skeptic to the eternal optimist, the new friend to the life long one. It was a beautiful patchwork quilt of people who love us. I felt so happy and so special (just like everyone else). It was the perfect night.




I know that the wedding in September will not be the perfect day or weekend. There are too many people and variable for it to be a blissful and precious as 3 hours at a tiny pub on a Monday night. However, my sights are not set on perfection in September. My family will be there, my brother from far away and my in-laws from as close as downstairs will all be there. There will be weather and uncomfortable beds and people who bug one another. I am hoping for a majority of good time and a chance to stand up in front of my family bio and otherwise as say "I love this man. I choose him. We want to build a life and a family together and maybe help make the world a little better than it was before we got here. Help us, Help us in the hard time and help us celebrate the good times. We love you and we want you to know how much we love each other." Damn....that's not half bad for off the cuff. Anyway, Monday was wonderful. The Hubbs is still freaking out about the ring on his finger and I am still trying to wrap muscle memory around signing my new last name, but all in all I would say it is utter bliss.

Fitness day ???
I have been working on get ups, rocking the elliptical and tonight was water aerobics. I am still at 8lbs down but have recently noticed I am down an entire pant size not just barely but really down. Hip Hip Hooray!

Time Flies When You Are Panic Stricken...

Are you interested in a fast paced career in Prehospital Emergency Medicine? Thinking about becoming a paramedic? Good choice!

However, boys and girls, before you can do this.....


You have to be this....

This is Baby Medic Sue and Baby Medic Tyson...just roll with me people.
These two wide eyed, white shirted, fresh faced babes are at the doorstep to their future. How exciting! Unfortunately, they have fallen prey to the "dorky-shirt-itis" of EMS education. Sue and Tyson live in Oregon so they are working on associates degrees in order to work as medics in the state. They have taken A&P, basic science, math and some sort of BS "health and fitness for life" class. They looked at all the various programs in the area and decided the University program looked like the best option as it was associated with the medical school, well respected and only a year! Woo hoo! Who doesn't love just one year when all the others make you do two? Sue and Tyson are stoked! They have their dorky uniforms all presses and their stethoscope at the ready. They are hungry to learn the business of saving lives!

What they didn't anticipate was that the "Sweet dude! It's only a year!", would become HOLY F-ing SHIT! It's only a year and it's almost half over! OMG I am supposed to start poking people and sticking tubes in places any minute now and I AM NOT READY! DEAR GOD, JUST GIVE ME A LITTLE MORE TIME!!!!

As you may have now gathered I am freaking out just a little bit. In fact a lotta bit! I am at work again tonight and I am taking care of a psychiatric patient who needed some labs drawn. Her nurse is a friend and knows I am mere days away from starting my clinical rotations. She offered me the chance to go in and draw labs. I have taken the phlebotomy class and am technically, able to draw blood here at work. I never do though! I have not yet taken the precious hours needed to get checked off by the phlebotomy Nazis in the lab. Who has a spare 20hrs?! Tyson and Sue do not! I don't either. So, that means that other than class, tonight was my very first stick. I thought I was pretty cool and collected. My buddy disagreed. Said I was all shaky and would have made her nervous. Not nice J! I thought I was chill. The pt was so busy telling me about her rum and coke habit that she didn't even flinch. It is the beginning.

So last term was hard core but do-able. I was (pardon my French) Balls to the Wall the entire time but I was doing well. This term is doubled up here in the first month since we will soon be spending 80% of our time out in hospitals and only 20% in the classroom. Thus, they are cramming in the extra 80% now....ouch! My brain hurts. In fact, as soon as I am done here I am on to cataloguing a myriad of respiratory diseases and sorting through the common presentations and signs and symptoms. Exciting, no? I will not belabor the point I am trying to make any further except to say I am excited, freaked, exhausted, in-love with it all and fed up to the teeth all at once. It is a rather euphoric feeling most of the time...sort of like taking cold medicine and then trying to stay awake and perform cognitive tasks. A little light headed and looped all the time. Maybe Sue Tyson and I need to go get a beer....

Fitness day 30
Wow! A month of efforts has yielded 8lbs total and I think a real change in my attitude towards food and exercise. I still LOVE melted cheese! I love it like oxygen. I love it almost as much as the Hubbs. I treated myself to melted cheese on toast this morning after the absolutely criminally long day yesterday. It was soooo good. But the thing is it's a treat now. Not a food group. I think about my fruits and veggies and make sure to eat breakfast. I have broken and supplemented some "diet food" for convenience sake. Special K protein snack bars in chocolate peanut butter only have 180 calories. I know this is technically a lot of calories when there are a zillion 100 calorie packs out there but riddle me this all ye dieters...are you EVER satisfied after one of those little packs? I'm not. I may even be hungrier. I always end up over eating if I under eat. Thus, 180 calories midway through my afternoon of school is just what I need to keep my focus and my blood sugar in the right place. I have also started using a knock off slim-fast shake for breakfast. All the vitamins and nutrients I need, protein, fiber, and its dirt simple. It even comes in a can that I can recycle. Viola! I eat breakfast now. On my own time without having to cram it in before I run out the door.

Last night I went to the gym and did my 30min on the Eliptical - 400cK
Today, I got up to spend a little time with the Hubbs before work and hit the gym for 10min of abs and another 30min/400cK on the machine. And I intend to do it again this morning before heading home to have brunch with the in-laws. I am all about eggs, cheese and bacon. I will have already earned it and hell, when it's once a month and not twice a week its OK. It's what we call moderation. Its what keeps us positive when the weight loss isn't as fast as we want but when we know we have been "good" to ourselves all week. A little melted cheese can do a world of good.

Oh Happy Day!

This is a picture of me on the day I became Mrs Hubbs to be!
Today is fitness day 6! This morning was a leeetle rough what with the whole getting up to pilaticise with the SIL before she headed off to work at 0-dark-thirty. I went to the pool and decided 6 days was a long enough waiting period to weigh myself again. 4lbs down! Holy moly! I am suspicious of course. I know I have been putting in a solid 2 hours of working out daily and working hard to make good food choices. It hasn't been as hard as I had anticipated. I have found yummy foods that mostly I cut up and put on salads or eat a small nibble of after eating my good choice salad and drinking my water. It is nice to feel that I am not forbidden anything just taking notice of how MUCH of anything I am taking in. I will say that this week I have worked hard to avoid refined sugar and melted cheese as they are common trap foods for me and being tired and or overwrought leads me to go for those first instead of a swim or a walk or a salad. I am trying to break the habit in this first 2 weeks. My own south beach meets sugar busters method. I am a total sucker for fats, salts and sugar.

Anyway, enough about the diet exercise crusade. Today is a day to celebrate. I have had soooo much fun making Christmas prepairations today I can hardly stand it! After my trip to the pool today I came home and awoke the Hubbs from his "I work the night shift and thus nap like a tranqued baby during the day" nap. We peeled him out of the bed with the dogs and poured him into the car. We headed out to find a Christmas Ham...like every good Jewish family (His not mine). I had no idea where to find a good butcher shop in town so I did like a good modern child and Googled one. We arrived to find a dreary little store front covered in car Lot paint way out in one of the less savory parts of town. We walked in a were smack in the middle of a bustling little market where those behind the counter were running back and forth grabbing cuts of meat and whole turkeys and wrapping them up for those of us jockeying for position on the other side of the counter. We were standing back trying to get an idea of how the system here was working and were greeted by a large man with a chef's hat on offering us some home made BBQ sauce. The Hubbs does not speak New Jersey/Southern hybrid. I, being well versed in stranger talking, understood him just fine and launched into his life story. Long story short we walked out of there with a 13lb ham and an armful of BBQ sauces.

Next stop was TJ's where we stocked up on Prosecco and other tidbits with which to "Make Christmas". From there we hit the wine shop and 2 more grocery store. Upon returning home the Hubbs made dinner as I checked the final work out off the list for the day. We have since been working on putting things in order in the house for the arrival of the fams the day after tomorrow. Looking around tonight I had the realization that this will be the first big holiday where our families have come to our house. I am so excited. I LOVE our new house and look forward to sharing time here with those I love. Somehow it doesn't seem real until I share it with my loved ones and my mom and the Hubbs' folks definitely count.

I think the biggest reason for celebration today is the fun we had putting all of this stuff together. The Hubbs and I have struggled lately with my being in school and then the broken foot bent my nose a little out of joint. We have been working on getting reconnected and I think nothing does that like putting together a holiday. We are feeling all silly and happy and optimistic about the coming year. It is nice to be able to have so much fun doing things, largely for others today. I don't think I was ever truly in danger of forgetting but today I was reminded why I love him so much. He is my best friend. And with that thought, I am going to go help him make up the guest bed for my mother.

Off with her boot! (Fitness Mission day 4)

It's official! I have been released to weight bearing activity as of this morning. It has been 3 weeks since I broke my foot running in the Seattle Half Marathon and it was 21 LONG days. I am a fairly active lady and get a lot of joy out of living in an area where I can walk to the store and take my dogs to the park or on a hike no matter the weather. The last three weeks have been devoid of those walks. I haven't even been able to grocery shop as crutches inhibit basket carrying or cart pushing. Needless to say much of my holiday shopping has been via Amazon.com. It has been hard to be unable to run or even carry a cup of coffee from the kitchen to the couch. I dislike having to ask for help and have hated being unable to "nest" now that I am done with the semester and finally able to do some of the settling into the house. However, things are different now. I can walk. The doctor put me in a walking shoe with a "cuboid pad" (see the above picture). It pushes up on the broken bone and prevents it from flexing under the weight of walking. The upside is having my independence back...the down side is how much it hurts to walk on it. The doc warned me that it will be sore for a while as there is still swelling and bone healing going on but it still hurts....Waah waah waah...I know.

I think I will tackle our bedroom tonight. There are just a lot of little things that I want moved here or there and tiny pieces I want picked up, especially before my mother comes to see the house. Moving around on the crutches was just such an effort that I have forgone any major projects until now. I am excited to get started. Yay Holiday Break!

I have been doing my 40min of pilates and hour of aqua-jogging daily...this is day 4. Things have been going well. I am feeling like I am sleeping better, eating better, feeling more positive and relaxed. All the good things that endorphins bring. I am making a huge effort to be as "well behaved" as possible (read not eating cheese as a cure for boredom or as a substitute for a meal) so that I may eat whatever I want for Christmas. I was out to meet a friend for coffee this afternoon and realized how hard it is to find food that is not either a bacon and melted cheese sammy or a dry wrap with hummus and cucumber. I settled today, for half of a tomato, basil, mozzarella sandwich. It was good but somehow it still seemed against my efforts to eliminate cheese as a food group. Oh well, there will be more pilates tonight to make up for the popcorn I sooooo want to eat. Ahhh I just had a thought that now that I can bear weight on my foot I can do workouts that have me standing up. Sweet!

My mother arrives in 4 days. I am getting excited for her visit. I think we will have a lot of fun. I want to take her to see some of the beautiful scenery. I also intend to drag her to the pool. My thoughts about mothers, daughters and the body issues in between will have to wait for another day. In the mean time I will say that I am happy she will have some time to meet the Hubb's folks. I am under no illusions that just because Hubbs and I are in love, our families will be BFFs. I am hoping that they will see the common ground they share of loving their kiddos and be able to have some sort of family relationship. You know what they say....You don't choose your family. I think the same is largely true of in-laws too. Though, I must admit that if given the option I likely would have chosen my future in-laws. They are rad and I am lucky indeed.


My mom and I at the coast on her last visit


The future-in-laws


Anyway, this post was not suposed to be about how much I love my family and family to be....it was supposed to be a hip hip hooray for the end of the crutches and the begining of the foot rehab.

Day 4
40min Pilates AM
35min Pool AM
40min strength training workout PM